Accepting Atypical
For my 34th Birthday I got myself: A Whole New Mind
Ever since the day I was born, I was “different”. I didn’t speak until I was older and my dad was almost 45 when I was born. I liked to count things and enjoyed doing a lot of mental math. I would walk on floor tiles in the dead center and spent a lot of time lost in my imagination in the backyard alone (rather than finding other kids). We are each different and further labels only harm rather than humanize us.
Last weekend, I saw a lot of kids like me. For the first time, I attended the local March for Respect, bringing awareness around non-neurotypical individuals and the challenges they face. Over 400 Tri-Citizens — those that are “different” like me and those that love them — marched around city hall to raise awareness for the “othering” of Humans like them and make sure our leaders don’t see us only by our labels.
I also saw a lot of concerned parents at the march, some wondering if their children will survive the dreaded real world. To anyone facing uncertainty: this is the best time to be different.
This is the century of brainpower and we will need as many kinds as we can find with unique minds. I’ve made a career by sitting alone with a machine and letting my imagination run wild. Knowledge work is only getting more demanding. The leaders in the new economy will be those that can bring other atypical minds together to work on big challenges.
There are books in this world that sort people into different types. I’ve been sorted versus what is in a book before — into House Slytherin in Harry Potter — and while shocked at first due to my preconception, I grew to understand that I was sorted properly. I grew to accept my ambitious nature. Recently, I was sorted again by a different book — this time by a professional using the DSM — and while it was painful at first, I have accepted my paradoxical nature. I also see that having names for difference might be helpful, but only as long as we are all still seeing each other as Humans first.
At LiveTiles, we only see three kinds of Humans: Leaders, Leaders of Leaders, and Leaders of Others. We say it in meetings all the time, but: it’s a trap! If all three seem relevant, then you’re stuck in the wrong mindset.
“Others” are people who are different than you. If you’re leading as if Humans around you are “Others”, then you have a dangerous perspective. “Others” get different treatment, deserve a different system of care, and — most often — second class status. We are each Human and Leaders.
The neurodivergent, like me, are Leaders and can be Leaders of Leaders. The fact that we think in systems means we can help make better ones. It could be computer systems, economic systems, political systems. Historic role-models for such different thinkers includes Charles Darwin, Alan Turing, and John Nash — each with many (over-dramatized) movies to help anyone understand.
Neurodivergent are extra vulnerable emotionally, because we are so self-connected, we struggle to purge stress and sometimes communicate. We may not organically connect all the time one-on-one or especially in groups. We may need guidance on just how to navigate the mazes in our own minds (and hearts).
We are in every comic-con and every university. We are in every software company and virtually anyone who makes a living using numbers. If you just give us a quiet place to think and some time to ourselves, we’ll eventually make the United Federation of Planets; however, we will need someone else to talk everyone into joining — a lot of us never learned to speak to a crowd.
Now that I’m 34, I’m accepting that I’m a “well-rounded individual” who just happens to be in some ways extra vulnerable, in some ways extra capable, and in all ways only too human. I hope to ensure every system in which I participate — from my country, to my community, to my work — is a place of acceptance for atypicals. There are many kids in my city counting on us making a better tomorrow, so I will work as hard as humanly possible.
Erik Ralston is Chief Architect at LiveTiles where he leads the team building the world’s only Intelligent Experience Platform (IXP). Erik is also co-founder of Fuse Accelerator in Tri-Cities, WA where he works on connecting people and sharing knowledge to turn new ideas into growing startups. You can find him on LinkedIn, Twitter, or the next Fuse event.
